Compatibility: Getting Relationships on the Right Track
We want our relationships to be perfect and on the right track because at the very core of our human function and existence is the ultimate need to connect with others. The most driving relationship is that which involves emotions and causes us to fall in love.
Many relationships just click, some take really hard work while others are downright toxic. Many of these relationships can be at best fleeting and a passing fancy while others can lead to a lifelong sustainable and happy relationship.
And anyone can be lucky to identify all the right telltale signs to Forster the long-lasting ones.
Knowing what to look out for to know if you are on the right track in your relationship comes in handy just as much as you need the relationship itself to thrive.
Here are 9 Ways to getting relationships on the right track.
1. Be Deliberate!
Never underestimate the necessity of being deliberate. Relationships are not all magical in as much as Hollywood sells that really hard. They take work and that work does not necessarily have to be tough or difficult but it must be deliberate.
You can take steps such as initiating good time spent in each other’s company and doing things you both love together.
2. Ego; Pride? Eww
Many people have misunderstood having self-worth for the destructive existence and influence of ego and pride.
“‘Ego’ is an over-attachment to self. It makes us sensitive to criticisms and often becomes a hurdle for personal and professional achievements. Ego is a false self-image, unreasonably heightened” while Self worth or esteem speaks to who you are and the value you place on yourself. You may read more here
The difference can be found in how it affects relationships negatively. Not an easily broached subject in relationships, it can cause damaging rifts between partners. One has to be deliberately self-aware and conscious to work on its existence to keep it far away from relationships
3. Be Kind.
Be the understanding one and expect, no, demand for the same. In anger, take care to mind words said to each other, you will forget what you said, but your relationships may not forget.
Words have a way of sticking around like bad grease on plastic and nasty actions can influence unpleasant series of changes in the next person.
So for your relationships to thrive, you must find a way to remain calm and ease of the nasties when upset or hurt.
4. Let it go!
That little voice nagging voice in your head that wants to persist on issues or habits you want changed must learn to obey you and just shut up.
When those unpleasant situations come up to make a mess of things, forgiveness becomes a little too important. Not all issues must be flogged on consistently as they tend to prolong the bad energy longer than necessary.
So bring it up, work hard to resolve it and the just let it go.
If you can.
Of course you can!
5. Communicate. Always!
Often, every time and Intentionally. What is loving someone without the bliss of a healthy communication line? I will leave you answer that.
Be intentional in how often you talk, gossip, how well you share your thoughts, and just gist with your partner. Good communication cement relationships, fix gaps, resolve issues, relays expectations, and conveys progress reports to each other; that way you know just how well or bad you both are doing.
Spend time whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears, let your partner know you feel, and kindly relay your grievances; doing so, you will keep misunderstanding each other to the very minimal
6. Speak their Love Language
Emphasis to a happy relationship has been placed on this recent popular strategy to loving and expressing your commitment to your partner, The 5 love languages.
Take time to learn or simply ask to understand what your partner’s love languages are and be extremely deliberate in communicating your love to your partner the way they’d rather receive it and not (just on) how you’d like to receive it.
7. Be Friends
Romance may get tiring and even stale down the road, gushy emotions will even fail at some point but friendship is bound to help the sustainability of any relationship.
You ask how you can be friends?
One very simple way is to take time to identify what you like in your partner and keep the energy focused on those things, relate from those focal points and you will find it easy to relate on many levels outside the intensity and/or lack of emotions.
8. Keep the Pretense at Bay
Fighting can be cleansing.
Couples that don’t have fights may still be at the “at my best” phase and that’s ok too, this should however be replaced with a genuine expression of dissatisfaction and if it leads to quarrels sometimes, then even perfect.
At the least, you know that there are no held in grudges. In the resolution of that misunderstanding, you will realize you are content and at peace.
Be as candid and open about with who you are always. If you cant keep up with who you claim to be then there really is no point in faking or fronting for only a time.
The real ‘new’ sides of you will spring up later to surprise your partner and change the dynamics of your relationship and may not be for the better.
9. Choose to (keep the) Trust
Trust is said to be earned. But most importantly is the open and deliberate mindedness to trust your partner. A trusting mind will find fault in every action of their partner and a nonbelieving person will most assuredly not accept whatever the next person says or does.
Trusting should be an intentional decision. Conveying distrust in a relationship will drive the next person off. it is negative energy no one enjoys having to be around for a long time.
If one partner always feels the need to always prove themselves or constantly defend themself over anything and everything then it is a police investigation and no longer a relationship.
Once trust has however been broken, all hope is not lost and it can still be fixed if both parties show interest to move past it.